Guilty until proven innocent

This is the doctrine of the British Library (and all the other venerable archival repositories in this country). They might as well have a sign posted above the door that reads:

"From the moment you walk in the door to the moment that the door hits you on the way out, we will assume that you are 1) a dirty-fingered toddler  2) a sociopathic vandal or 3) generally criminally-inclined. We, therefor(e), reserve the right to treat you like fresh dog poo on the bottom of our collective shoe. You shall be subject (but not limited) to the following: 1) Insults to your intelligence 2) disparaging remarks about your nationality  3) petty power plays over any and all of our petty regulations  4) invasive searches of your property and persons 5) assumptions of crass immaturity.  We reserve the right to dictate what color paper you write upon, the diameter and density of the lead in your pencil, the hygiene of your wallet, and the contents of your mouth. If you submit a letter of introduction expressing your suitability and trustworthiness to handle our collections, we will find something to discredit it (and you and your institution), including (but not limited to) accusations of forgery and of not being up-to-date with your vaccinations.  We reserve the right to deny you entrance to our building or reading rooms for any reason whatsoever, including the carrying of a very small violin case or not having had a pap smear in the last 6 months. We reserve the right to roll our eyes if you politely come to the Enquiry desk to request assistance. This is the price you pay for a quiet place to study, a clean place to pee, and air conditioning.  If you have questions or require assistance in any way, please submit them to our Customer Relations Office, and we will address your concern (if we feel like it) with as much contempt and condescension as possible. Thank you for supporting the British Library."

This is my face right now.  It is stuck like this.